The De-Stress Quest

{Photo by Ornella Binni}

I’m stressed.  Overwhelmed by what it feels like to live my life. The sun has been shining for the first time in a few weeks of nonstop storms, and it surprises me how much I miss summer.

Summer has long been my least favorite season, as I run hot and get near constant headaches every time July comes around.

However, there’s a certain undeniable magic to summer. A blaze of hot nights and blurry days and decompression. It’s an elusive other reality.  It’s almost like it’s easier to breath there.

Twice I’ve spent a week at a music festival and then come home and realized my every day life did not involve every night being illuminated by lights and music and dancing and freedom and snow cones and showing off my hula hoop trickz. But why not? I want to LIVE more. There’s got to be a way to live like it’s summer every day (minus the headaches!).

I think it is really just the feeling of freedom.  To do whatever you want, and be whatever you want. Liberation brings along with it joy.

As Russel Brand put it, “Really, people aren’t that worried about what you’re doing or what you’re saying, so you can drift around the world relatively anonymously: you must not feel persecuted and examined.  Liberate yourself from that idea that people are watching you.”

This liberation and the accompanying dazzling joy and imperturbable peace is the ultimate goal. 

However, as I noted, I don’t think I’m there yet.  The top of the ladder is not in reach from the step I’m on.  And that’s okay. The path upwards is clear. One step at a time.  The step that I’m taking this month is to de-stress.

If you’re into this, the Tarot card I drew for February was my personal favorite card: Strength. The interpretation of the card from Biddy Tarot says, “when you learn to fully master your raw, instinctual behaviors, thoughts and emotions, the positive qualities of the Strength Tarot card will emerge from within you. The main lesson from this card is that emotions must be transcended if spiritual wisdom and intuition are to be awakened. Your inner voice is often drowned out by the dominant noise of ego and fear. Let go of these negative emotions and you will begin to create the silence you need to hear your inner self. Conquer your fears, control your impulses, and never lose patience with yourself or what you are doing.”

That sounds pretty good to me, so I’m setting off to clear away stress and distractions and get right down into it.

This month’s plans aren’t outwardly focused. When I thought about what I’d do in February, I debated things like, “Learn French,” or “Drive every day.” 

However, after some pretty powerful realizations, I decided that there’s no real point in trying to improve the conditions of my outer life if I’m not where I want to be on the inside.

So I’ve done a complete 180. It’s all mental from here on out. This is the hard stuff, guys.
Here’s how I’m going to do it.

Meditate

During 2016, with the help of the app Headspace, I meditated for 200 days straight. 

One of my greater feats, really, judging by how much I dreaded those 10 minutes every day. It was not fun, and it was certainly not relaxing. At least not for me. It was grueling. 

Yet, although it didn’t get rid of all my problems, I definitely remember there being benefits. Meditation is scientifically proven to do a bunch of good stuff, I’m not going to go through it here because I’m sure that you’ve heard it all before. So have I. So why did I stop doing it?

Essentially, it had gotten to the point where I was only meditating every day to keep my streak, and I was only keeping my streak because I wanted to get to 365 days. 
Doing something for the wrong reasons tends to have a negative effect on its benefits. 

This time, I’m going to go about it differently. I’m starting with guided meditations like this one, which really are relaxing and refreshing.  

Ultimately, though, I want to just sit in silence - no headphones, no words, no music, and just do my thing. 
I also want to extend the length of time that I sit. I definitely feel like I get more benefits from 20 minutes than 10.

Go Outside

Fresh air and sunlight are your friends! So’s nature in general. I’d like to get as close as I can to lying in a field of violets all day. It starts with going outside. 

Marvel at the wonders of the natural world, remember what really matters and forget your worries.  As an added bonus, there’s a good chance you will see some cute dogs!

Less Multitasking and More Doing Nothing

I confess that I have been known to view doing one thing at a time as a great waste of time. Why just eat your breakfast by itself if you could be holding your fork in one hand, scrolling through Instagram with the other and clicking the TV remote to “continue watching” with your big toe? I can only imagine the negative patterns this imprints into your brain.  
My brain’s unquenchable need for saturation is truly frightening. Doing one thing at a time is not enough anymore! 

Well, let’s take it a step further to unwind this pattern. Doing absolutely nothing at all. Sitting in a chair. Looking out the window. Lying on the floor and staring at the ceiling. Seems sort of fun, surprisingly. When lying on the floor and staring at the ceiling sounds fun, you know you’re stressed out.

Physical Comfort

Sometimes the best feeling ever is curling up in a soft blanket or cozy pajamas. Take advantage of this! We don’t need to add physical discomfort to mental discomfort when we’re stressed. 

Stretch out tight or stiff joints and make sure you’re taking care of your physical health. Then do everything you can to comfort yourself. Drink hot soup or ramen, make sure your bed is comfortable. Don’t wear jeans that are too tight or shoes that pinch your feet. Comfort is key, after all. Fuzzy socks are your best friend.

Disconnect

I’ve often thought about how much information I constantly bombard myself with that I would never, ever know if I didn’t have a smart phone. 

On social media we’re keeping track of people’s lives who don’t even overlap with ours. I still see daily updates from girls from my dance classes from seven years ago that I pretty much haven’t seen since then. And I enjoy this, but it’s too much sometimes. 

On top of everything that we have to keep track of in our actual day to day lives, we’re piling on news stories and articles and the opinions that everyone and their grandma shared on twitter. 

I like social media, I like Instagram, and I try to follow accounts that actually inspire me, but I’ve found that there can definitely be too much of a good thing. 

Last December I deleted Instagram Twitter and Facebook for two weeks and when I reinstalled the first two it was out of a genuine excitement to see what my favorite accounts had been up too.

 It’s gotten back to the point now, however, when I too often find myself mindlessly scrolling - definitely not getting any real inspiration.

 Basically, what I’m saying is that for me I find that occasional digital detoxes do a wonder of good - especially when you’re overwhelmed. 

I’ve also had all of my notifications except for texts turned off for months as well so that nothing shows up on my lock screen if I click on my phone. Not being bombarded with notifications not only decreases stress and stimulation, it leads to less frequent phone checking. Put down the phone and reclaim your life!

Spend More Time In The Flow State

The state of flow can be described as when you are so fully immersed in what you are doing that you lose track of time. Achieving flow involves doing only one thing at a time (!) and putting all of your attention on it. 

It’s a great way to delve into the present moment and bust stress at the same time. You can achieve a state of flow doing anything, really, as long as you enjoy it and can focus on it and it alone for a solid amount of time. 
Personally, I want to spend more time on art this month, so that will be my number one flow activity.

🔹🔹🔹

The number one way to de-stress is really to just be. No matter what is going on, you can connect to a deeper level, or zoom out to the bigger picture.  Just be here now, and breathe. 

Personally, my February de-stress quest begins with the above ideas. I hope you’ll try them out, too.


As a disclaimer: If you have the kind of belief that tells you that practicing this much self care or taking this much time to literally do nothing is selfish or a waste of time, I get it.  But if you’re a stress-case then it’s doubtful that you’re really being too helpful to those around you. 

Not only that, but you’ll be more productive if you’re immersed in the present moment. 

The bottom line is, the more peaceful people are, the more peaceful the world is. So peace out girl scout :)

//photos by Brooke Cagle//

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January Wrap Up

{Photo by Sapan Patel}

January has been a crazy month. My hopes of a rolling start into the second semester were pretty much dashed from the get-go. School has been hectic, and consequently I wasn’t able to blog as much as I planned on in my January Plans post. 
Likewise, although I got driving practice in during the last week of break, I haven’t found (I mean made!) as much time as I had planned on to work on that since school started back up. 
However, although I didn’t get everything done that I wanted to, let’s celebrate the stuff that I did do. I never missed a day of yoga, even when it meant waking up at 4:45 am, and I practiced harp almost every day (I’m talking 99%). 

Okay if I’m honest, I am a little underwhelmed reading those accomplishments. 

When I try to measure the success of this month, it reminds me of acne medicine or something. Stick with me, I mean it brought imperfections to the surface. As if it has to get worse before it gets better. And I think that’s true. 

The real accomplishments of this month were a lot of realizations that I had about the way that I was living and feeling and most importantly, thinking.
I realized that I was trying to build an elaborate and dazzling sculpture on a not-so-great foundation. 

It’s like in Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. I was spending all of my time and effort trying to reach the top of the pyramid without fulfilling the base of it. Impossible, and quite frustrating. 

This month has definitely been one of taking stock: getting in touch with areas that could use improvement and reflecting on how I got there. I read old journals and saw patterns emerging. I came to terms with how old experiences were shaping new ones and dispelled some mistruths that were ingrained in my brain from who knows what. 

At school we’ve been balloting for next years classes, which made me take stock of that part of my future too. It’s going to be a busy time, that’s for sure. 
I’m definitely not dreading it, though. At this point, I’m hopeful for the future. I’m going to take what I’ve learned and move forward. 

january appreciation

close friends, new and old ✿ vegan chocolate chip cookies ✿ spending two weeks drawing a kitten in art class ✿ morning pages ✿ remembering my dreams ✿ the TV-G Canadian soap Backstage ✿ my kitty sleeping under the blankets on my bed ✿ cozy sweaters ✿ studyblrs that make me want to get things done ✿ sing street ✿ guided meditations on letting go ✿ teachers who teach life lessons ✿ taking a one second video every day ✿ waking up at five am✿ sitting on the porch in the sun in the middle of winter ✿when girls you don’t know compliment your outfit ✿ this book ✿ getting completely soaked when it rains at school ✿


All of the work that I’ve done in January taking stock helped me know what I should focus on in February, so stay tuned for next month’s plans :) 

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"What's Up With That Quote In Your Blog Header?"

{Photo by Alex Holyoke}

This time last year was one of the happiest times of my life. Going this month, my whole goal was to recreate that feeling exactly. I spent some dedicated time thinking about what I was doing during Jan ’16 that made it so great. I came up with a little list, and I did those things, to the extent of my capability. 

I was sure that the scientific method would no fail me. If bliss was a product, then these steps were my reactants. It was simple. 

All the while, I was writing this blog, and what quote did I put under the title of my blog?      “Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.” ― Anaïs Nin.     Needless to say, I was attracted to the quote for a reason, but it didn’t quite sink in at first. 

Following my recipe for January 2016 Feels didn’t work. For one thing, some of the steps were impossible. Rare ingredients. Situations or people that weren’t in my life anymore. The closest I ever got was listening to my playlist from that month. Songs tend to bring me back to exactly where I was when I discovered them. However, I’ve played those songs so many times since that they aren’t just a symbol of that time anymore. 

I don’t miss January 2016, is the thing. I don’t want to go back. There were definitely standout days, and they gave me stories I’ll always remember, but going back would be losing a whole year’s worth of growth and knowledge. I’ll never feel that exact way again, but I’ll feel better. 

I’ve stopped wishing to elect that state and remain in it.  I don’t want to become stagnant trying to recreate the past. I’m moving forward every day. 

I’ve recently become somewhat obsessed (!) with growth and change. Metamorphosis. I love the idea of regeneration. Shedding skin and replacing it. Our old experiences and habits falling away as new ones grow in their place. Detoxing. Scientists have studied how your different organs and bones constantly replace and renew themselves. 

You are a different person now then you were yesterday.  Everything behind you has fallen away. Let the past go, good or bad. Your life begins where you are now, and stretches out in front of you, waiting to be explored. 

Living in the rigid cage of the past shrinks your world. You can’t change the rules, what happened already happened. You can replay things over and over, holding on to them in your mind, not letting them fall away, not letting yourself release the weight. 

In today’s Yoga Revolution video, Adriene said, “Letting go of what is perhaps keeping you from feeling strong, day to day, ironically takes strength.” 

You have that strength now. Really, truly, truly release the past. Let the weight of either trying to escape difficult things that happened, or trying to cling to or recreate good things that happened, fall away. 

To conclude with another Anaïs Nin quote, “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”

Say yes to forward momentum, to the present, to the future, and see what opens up for you.

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What If You Could Watch A Movie Of Your Life?

{Photo by Alejandro Alvarez}

I'm a photo hoarder. The Camera Roll on my phone has been upwards of almost 4,000 pictures at a time. While I've gotten better at clearing it out, I still find it sad to delete photos. It feels like my memories are being deleted with them! 

Technology has given us a way of remembering things that we would probably have forgotten long ago. It's fun to relive moments that had slipped your mind, although sometimes I wonder what things my brain would have deemed important enough to remember without visual reminders like photos. 

However, even pictures can cease to bring back memories. If I look at a picture from last year, chances are good that I can recall other details about what was going on at the time, possibly even thoughts I was thinking in the picture. But if I post a throw back photo of baby-me, you can bet I have zero recollection of the time the picture was taken. 

Personally, I find that reminiscing has an irresistible quality. Of course, some things we would rather forget, but there's satisfaction in seeing how far you've come, and how things have changed in ways that the you in the picture could never have foreseen. It's like two realities merging. 

As shutter-happy as I was last year, sometimes I find myself wishing I had taken more photos of day to day things, the things that I wouldn't necessarily remember on my own.

 In 2017, I've found a solution. 

New Years Enthusiast that I am, January 1st found me scrolling through my youtube subscriptions watching 2016 wrap ups and 2017 plans. One youtuber that I've been subscribed too for years, Morgan Yates, posted a video called "A Second A Day for a Year."

The video was exactly what it sounded like: a one second video taken every single day of 2016. I watched the whole 6 minutes of it, and knew that I had to make one of my own. 

She didn't specify how she made the video, but I found an app called 1 Second Everyday and got started.

 Let me tell you, it has been so much fun! It's not only cool to get to see (so far) the past two weeks of my life go by in 14 seconds, it's had other positive impacts on my life too. 

For one, it makes me want to get out of the house and do things or meet up with people so that I can record them for my one second of the day! I don't want to get to the end of the year and have my video be six minutes of sitting on the couch watching TV. 

Creatively, it's a cool outlet to pic what you're going to record that day, and to see all of the seconds mashed together in the video. The app has been so much fun to use and I'm so excited to watch a montage of my 2017 at the end of the year. 

Give it a try and see for yourself! :)

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The Problem With Just Surviving, And How To Thrive

{Photo by Rachael Crowe}

I invite you to take a break from chaos. It doesn’t matter how busy you are, it doesn’t matter how many things are going on at once, rushing around you, bumping into you. Life is hectic sometimes, sometimes downright crazy, but you always have the choice to breath through it. 

Too often, I get into the mindset of “I just have to get through this week.” It gives me a mission, a countdown, a burst of resolve. I picture the seconds left in the week draining and dripping away, and think that every moment is one closer to one where I can relax, where I can at peace at long last. After this week, I won’t be stressed. After I get this one thing done, I won’t be stressed.

It’s true: relief is rewarding. There is a blissful comfort that comes with the accomplishment of tasks that have been weighing down your to-do list for too long. There is immense satisfaction in flopping down on your bed on Friday night after a grueling week. 

Nine out of ten times, I would use this relief as motivation. In other posts, I’ll urge you put your nose to the grindstone and just… Do It! Very often, it seems like the only way to get things done. Grit your teeth, buckle down, fight through the exhaustion. No pain, no gain. 

But there’s something inherently sad about counting down the days, the hours, the minutes. We look to the future to provide comfort, but it never comes. Every day that we grit our teeth and push through relentlessly, unfeelingly, is a day that we’ll never get back. 

This moment is all we have. Why would we wish it away? 

When you find yourself resolving to just survive this day, get through this week, make it until a certain point in the future, it’s a wake up call to examine what’s going on right now and see how you can improve it. 

Contrary to what we usually tell ourselves, we are exactly as capable of being at peace right now, no matter what is going on, then we will be at a later point in time when things in our outer world have “calmed down.” 

In fact, because the present moment is all that you have, it is the only time in which you can be at peace. It is the only time in which you can be anything. How you feel right now is all that you have.

Don’t wait for your life to calm down before you do. The harsh truth is, it won’t! Yes, this day, this week, this project, the things that stress you out at this moment are temporary. But they will be continually replaced with new things, and if you don’t change anything now, you will continue to be stressed out over and over. 

Start as you mean to go on. Nothing will change if you don’t change. 

I am not saying that there is nothing you can do to eliminate stressors from your life. Definitely do your best to remove yourself from situations that are harmful to your wellbeing, emotional, mental, or physical. 

However, a lot of the time the things that are causing us overwhelm are things that we have purposely brought into our lives. We want to be doing these things, we have reasons to be doing these things, it just gets to be a little too much sometimes. 

Your outer world does not need to calm down for you to calm down. In fact, when you choose awareness in this moment, when you choose to be still and breath, to make time to take care of yourself and look out for yourself, when you choose peace now, you won’t need anything to change. 

You have the power of choice. You can choose exactly how to feel right now, you can choose what to focus on, what to think, what to see, what to believe, how to react to anything that happens. You can choose to surrender and trust. 

In making those choices, you take back the reigns of your life. Overwhelm, stress, and chaos dissolves. Choose to be at peace now, in the midst of the crazy. 

Just think: if you can be at peace in the craziest, busiest, most stressful, most chaotic, most overwhelming moment of your life, then you can always be at peace. Start with this moment. 

In this moment, you have unlimited potential to design and create your life. Don't push through this moment. Savor it, embrace it, examine it, explore it. It is everything that you have. 

Maybe it's busy, maybe things aren't going quite how you'd have liked them too. But all of your power to change how things are going exists here and now. 

There's two ways to fix a problem. You can change the situation, or you can change your reaction. Sometimes we can change the situation, but when we can't we tend to give up, forgetting all about the other, entirely valid solution. 

The problems will cease to be problematic when we cease to see them that way.

 What are problems? They are things that cause us to feel bad. If they didn't make you feel some kind of negative emotion in response to them, you wouldn't view them as problems. 

It is in that way that we can resolve, dissolve, and overcome problems by changing the way that we react to them. When we change the negative emotion that we feel in response to something to a positive one, or even a neutral one which is usually easier, the problem ceases to exist. 

I read a book recently (The Game Of Life & How To Play it by Florence Scovel Shinn) that pointed something out to me that I found to be very true. The book said that when you resolve to face your fears, you overcome them. Without actually having to deal with the thing that you are afraid of. 

The thing that we must overcome is the fear itself, not the thing that we are afraid of. For example, I had a performance once that I was anxious about for many weeks. However, the night before the performance I became absolutely resolved to face my fear. The next day, the nerves were gone. Even in the hour I waited to go onstage, the time when I usually experienced the most anxiety, I was calm. I was even having fun. I ended up having a blast and never experiencing the anxiety I was so accustomed to. When I resolved to face my fear, I overcame it. Therefore, I never had to go through it. 

This is such an amazing concept, and it can be applied perfectly to every "problem" we ever face. By changing how we feel about the problem, the problem fades away. We take away it's power by not letting it sway us. 

As Virginia Woolf said, "You cannot find peace by avoiding life."

Embrace life, become comfortable in the discomfort. 

Be at peace, and every problem you encounter will dissipate.

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Mid-Week Motivation

{Photo by Jordan Whitfield}

I have a confession. In the past, I have been guilty of succumbing to the trend that is New Year = New Me! I love fresh starts (morning is my favorite part of the day), and the idea of reinventing yourself at the turn of the calendar is admittedly appealing. This year, however, I’ve focused less on transformation and more on exploration. Trying new things, self-evaluating and facing fears. It’s been amazing. 

But here’s the deal. It’s almost two weeks into the new year. It’s the middle of a probably busy week, the holidays are over, and if you made new years resolutions then, statistically, there’s a chance they’ve been abandoned. 

My message is: Don’t Give Up. This is the hardest part! The dream of success is always shown through a filter of inspiration, motivation, productivity, and endless energy. That is not the whole truth. 

Of course, you can always work to inspire, motivate, and energize yourself. You can work to maximize your productivity and by all means, you can work to keep your spirits high. But it all takes work. 

It takes hard work and discomfort. It takes not giving up. No pain, no gain, as they say. You can have all of that success you are dreaming of. But it takes putting in the work. Today, and tomorrow and every day after that. 

Put by the incredible Gina Rodriguez, "Hard work and dedication and perseverance and being good to people does win. It does matter. Cream does rise to the top."

Forget the day, forget the month, forget the year. Forget the past, how the week or month has been going so far. Forget the future, worries about whether you will succeed or how things will go. 

All you have is now. 

All of your power and possibility is concentrated in this single moment. Roll up your sleeves, get down to business, and make it happen!

You can.

You are.

Keep Going.

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Morning Pages: Gain Clarity About Your Life And Unleash Creativity

{Photo by Freddy Castro}

I’ve recently discovered a wonderful new addition to my morning routine. It’s called morning pages, and it was first coined by Julia Cameron. 

For me personally, it’s helped me work through personal challenges and gain insight, as well as strengthen my ability to tap into creativity and a state of flow. 

What are morning pages?

The concept of morning pages is that you write enough to fill three pages in longhand, every morning immediately after waking up. 

You can write about absolutely anything. Generally, the first page and a half is pretty easy to fill, but the second page and a half is where it gets good. Pushing yourself to complete the three pages brings up things to write about from your subconscious that you may not have known were there. 

In this way, completing your morning pages helps you gain awareness of what’s going on in your conscious and subconscious mind, and gives you a way to work things through on paper. 

Your morning pages are completely private, (you can even destroy them afterwards if it will encourage you to write honestly) and only for yourself. It’s a place where you can be unfiltered and really see and say things as they are to you. 

The reason behind completing your morning pages immediately when you wake up is this: in your half-asleep state you are more likely to be creative and candid in your writing. You are not awake enough to censor yourself or think too hard about what you should write. 

The goals is for the words to flow unrestricted. This is the way in which morning pages will be the most helpful and transformative for you. 

How do I implement the habit of morning pages?

It’s important that you write your morning pages every day. When it becomes a habit, it will be effortless and that much more powerful. There are a few things you can do to get the most out of your experience writing morning pages.

✩ Give yourself time to complete your writing
Everyone writes at a different speed, and the length of time that it takes you to complete your morning pages will vary on different days. Personally, morning pages generally take me about 20 minutes to complete. Depending on the time that it takes you to complete them, you will want to wake up that much earlier during the week in order to give yourself time to write your morning pages without feeling rushed or skipping it altogether. 

Now, I know some of you will blanch at the prospect of waking up twenty minutes earlier than you have to! I have a zero period class, I understand. However, you’ll find that your mornings begin on a much more tranquil note by waking up early and writing your morning pages than they normally would. Plus, you can write your morning pages while sitting in bed, so if you think about it that way, you get to stay in bed for twenty extra minutes after your alarm goes off! Trust me, it’s worth it. 

✩ Make it fun
For me, the thing that motivates me the most to write my morning pages, (besides the fact that the act in itself is enjoyable) is using my favorite pens! I have a pack of twelve colors and I alternate the color that I use every morning. What I end up with is a rainbow-filled notebook. 

In addition to using a favorite pen or pencil, make sure the notebook you use is dedicated solely to morning pages. Rip other things out if you have too. This way, it will be more special. Even better, buy yourself a new notebook that you know you’ll love to write in!

xxx

Morning pages have made a very valuable addition to my morning routine and I’ve been having so much fun with them. 

Give it a try and be sure to let me know how it goes. ✩

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